06-07-2012, 01:51 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-07-2012, 01:58 PM by Ol'Jeffers.)
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring
at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted
three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures
had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble
interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for over
half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black
men in a predominately white, patriarchal society.
'In fact,' he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects
the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.'
After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said,
'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?' asked the couple.
'Because I'm the guy who painted it,' he replied.
'In fact, there are no black men depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners.
The guy in the middle went home for lunch......'
Some more:
I get on extremely well with the lesbians next door.
They asked me what I would like for my birthday.
I was stunned when they gave me a Rolex.
It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."
---
Why is it when your wife becomes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy and say "congratulations"
but none of them rub your d**k and say "well done"?
---
Honestly some folk will take offence at anything.
I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop and all I asked was "How are you getting on?"
---
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby "Is this yours?" she asked.
"Probably." said Paddy "She burns everything else!"
---
My missus has just gone into hospital with two black eyes and a broken jaw.
It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio.
---
Sex therapists claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!!
Personally I think its bollox!!
---
They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right.
After 8 pints I talk s**t and can't drive!
---
Whats the difference between Basil Brush and a Terrorist with a rucksack?
The Terrorist with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once.
---
Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled?"
"No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sick bastard."
---
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?"
He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"
---
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.
"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.
"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."
Hope that gave you a giggle....I have plenty more some even worse!!
at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted
three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures
had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble
interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for over
half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black
men in a predominately white, patriarchal society.
'In fact,' he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects
the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.'
After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said,
'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?' asked the couple.
'Because I'm the guy who painted it,' he replied.
'In fact, there are no black men depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners.
The guy in the middle went home for lunch......'
Some more:
I get on extremely well with the lesbians next door.
They asked me what I would like for my birthday.
I was stunned when they gave me a Rolex.
It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."
---
Why is it when your wife becomes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy and say "congratulations"
but none of them rub your d**k and say "well done"?
---
Honestly some folk will take offence at anything.
I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop and all I asked was "How are you getting on?"
---
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby "Is this yours?" she asked.
"Probably." said Paddy "She burns everything else!"
---
My missus has just gone into hospital with two black eyes and a broken jaw.
It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio.
---
Sex therapists claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!!
Personally I think its bollox!!
---
They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right.
After 8 pints I talk s**t and can't drive!
---
Whats the difference between Basil Brush and a Terrorist with a rucksack?
The Terrorist with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once.
---
Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled?"
"No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sick bastard."
---
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?"
He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"
---
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.
"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.
"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."
Hope that gave you a giggle....I have plenty more some even worse!!
The Older I get the Better I Was! 
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